What Is Life & It’s Greatest Meaning

 

What has come out of 2018 where struggles, hardship, great challenges, transition and a spiritual awakening only I could ever imagine in my life. Lifestyle, health, wellness, spirituality and a deeper meaning of life in general. I was given hope, not forgotten, supported and loved from those who truly care, appreciate, respect and those who I have put complete trust in which is quite rare.

Reality kicks us around quite a bit doesn’t it? Knocks us down, wants us to fail, throw out all these circumstances in front of us. Of course, who says it’s easy? It isn’t. It’s tough and brutal among all things.

1.  Finances
2. Child care
3. Medical Insurance
4.  Health
5. Job
6. Bills
7. Taxes
8. Death of a loved one
9. Mental Health
10. Grief

I’ve gone through it all excluding the child care, although I’m still a child in the eyes of my parents. Every parent sees their adult grown children as a child, their babies. It’s only natural. They want to help heal their wounds, fix them, take care of them all they can, and worry when not heard from until they do. In all truth I’ve grown more into myself and who I am as a person these days. I’m sure you are as well along your life’s journey. Like I’ve said it’s not easy.

When you feel as if the world comes crashing down around you with no one to pick you up, you learn to pick yourself up. Sucking it up is what I call it. We can complain, whine, sulk and mope but it doesn’t get us anywhere. I’m not only talking on my behalf, I’m talking on yours. Yeah, You! We find ourselves in different places in our lives regardless of our age. You maybe 16 and reading this, possibly 60, or 25. I’m just throwing out numbers. You get my drift. I’m 41 and have found my place, my greatest meaning. I’m a writer, self-published. I write poetry and I blog. Well, there are a few other things that have completely transitioned my life. Getting into nature, being one with animals. Taking care of them. Children, children of all ages. I’m a big kid at heart. I’ve learned to tone it down a little. I’ll always remain one though. I have become more in tune with my body, physically as well emotional and mentally. The difficulty of it though is the emotional and mental abuse I’ve gone through, learning to love myself all over again. I can be quite hard on myself and when I discovered Tai Chi and meditation it lifted my spirits, to becoming one with the world and my spiritual beliefs. My values and morals. I attend church, bible study and pray.

I want you to know you too have great meaning in your life. It will come to you and it will lift you, and you’ll begin see the numbers 11:11, 1:11, 7:11 quite often, you’ll even see 3:11, 6:11, 10:11. Those are you’re spirit guides, angels protecting you guiding you along among your divine purpose. Everyone has them as do I. I’m not giving it away though. When it happens to you you’ll know it pay attention to it. Life is a series of events through every struggle, challenge you’ve ever been faced with.

At first I was quite calm and at peace with no racing thoughts or worry, let alone any stress. I found it odd yet content so I looked into on a deeper level. This was soon after I purchased a bracelet, a lotus bracelet which connected me to my body, mind and spirit in which was all entangled for little more than 2 years. I opened a board on  Pinterest titled Mind,Body And Soul. There you’ll see and read more on how to connect with yourself spiritually, mentally and emotionally. Follow the link here:

Mind, Body And Soul Pinterest Board

 

I’m also providing an affiliated link for those who live with depression and have suicidal thoughts or have possibly attempted to suicide. Donations are accepted, and the jewelry purchased a portion of those sales help, and to bring awareness. The lotus, tree of life, strength, wisdom and encourage have great meaning to us all.

Wishful.Fashion

 

 

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My 7 Step Nightly Skin Care Routine!

RBF

Welcome to my nightly skin care routine!

If you read my previous posts Reasons Why You Should Always Wash Your Face Before Bed, you might have thought to yourself, well what the hell am I supposed to use?

and girlllll I got you!

It’s so important to get into a consistent nightly skincare routine! This can help you achieve healthier, cleaner, youthful skin!

You know what they say cleaner skin is happier skin… or did I just make that up?? haha

It took me a long while to get my nightly routine down, truly a trial and error! One week i’m taking vitamins next week i’m purchasing anti-aging cream, seriously Target should just have my direct deposit linked to them…

MOVING ON

When it comes time for bed I always stick to this order, makeup wipe, cleanser, topical treatment, eye cream, lip balm, lash serum, moisturizer.

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About The Book Series

A little more than 20 years ago I began to write daily in several journal books, spiral note books full of poetry as to regular note books full of testimonies/my own thoughts on life generally speaking. Up till 2011 all of those writings combined from those journal, spiral and note books began creating a full draft book. The title, The Poetry Diaries was well suited for the book. I self-published and released the mini book in March of 2013 via CreateSpace and Amazon. The book itself, it’s debut in the world meant the world to me as I went through several hurdles to get where I was going  with no set plans in mind. Writing was my escape, therapy, a way to truly self express myself the only way I knew how to. I never intentionally thought of the idea to even self-publish it was from the support and encouragement from my  truest best friends to an emerging friendship from a fellow writer. Their belief in me was awe inspiring to say the least. To use my words was using my voice. At the beginning of it all my thoughts on the book would hit a wide market, it wasn’t the case fortunately.  It took two years for it to gain any traction, to get somewhere and in the hands of the people. In between that time I was already writing a second book of the material not used from the first book. Not knowing to me at first thought it was even a series. It clicked, it worked the way it was suppose to. The sheer determination in me to keep ticking and writing as it led to public events in my community of Stark County Ohio. Speeches made me a nervous wreck. Once I would get through them the nerves slipped from my thoughts. Those events were life changing as it would bring people more aware of what I wrote. Self-help in some aspects, poetry, with a spiritual overtone. Some folks will muter over the fact it is religious based. I never thought of it in that sense. To me It all made me realize it was more than just trying to make a name out of myself and my material. It was in fact talking for those who couldn’t. My words, my voice became a founding block for anyone who struggles to find their own journey out of life. It isn’t about the money or making a million. It is more the connection with someone that means the most. I as well realized my story is their’s. It was truly pro founding and insightful. I released two books in two years, The Poetry Diaries and Life In Color. It was the second book in which the name was changed slightly, Taking The Journey Life In Color. The material kept on flowing and the feelings, thoughts and emotions made there way through two more books The Journey Ahead and Beyond The Silence Of Love And Faith.

After self-publishing 4 books from an 8 part series I began taking on more projects in my life. The biggest project of my life utterly changed it that would lead to the 5th book An Unexpected Journey. That book fortunately was the last book I wrote before the hugest transition of my life. I was wrapped into ways I couldn’t keep up with myself. It left me in much of a rather vulnerable state, the most fragile state of mind, body and in soul. All the writing, the research on self publishing services, events and all other projects among a part time job led to illness, and along the way I lost my desire to write. The involvement with someone was by far the most draining on my mind,body and soul combined, it led to mental and emotional abuse and caused horrific pain and unstability. A Place not my own. The material I wrote all  came in the form of pain, loss, suffering, grief, to joy and happiness.  I didn’t have it inside me anymore. It came to the point I didn’t write at all. The passion and desire was no longer a part of me. There were days of not wanting to doing anything at all. I was a completely lost soul just living through the motions of every day life. It wasn’t living only existing. All the work, the writing from the previous books hung in the balance. They rarely made it online and abroad during the struggles I was living with.

For more than a year and half none of the books made any sense to me. Why did I even get into what I was doing. I struggle still to be truthfully honest.

Now though I remember why I set out on the journey to write to begin with, to be a voice for others as well myself. I may only just be a starving writer/artist who lost her voice trying to regain a sense of normalcy. It all happened through the winter of 2016 up through this year. I truthfully tried to write. Writing a love story in that duration  wasn’t one at all. The book didn’t make it and was scraped, no longer in me consciously. All that I wrote of the book was removed online. It was only a story to be frank. In fact the reality was in deed mental and emotional abuse as I’ve said. It wasn’t love at all. Not the kind of unconditional love I’ve waited for, for half of my life.

These days I’m working on me in healing and recovery. It’s been the most difficult learning a new lifestyle and balancing it out. To my surprise though someone came along surprisingly who’s given me incredible hope. It sparked my writing again and with it I’m working on revisions of all the books starting with the very first that began more than 5 years ago.

In writing about the book series for you all has been such a challenge to get through. It has brought every tear through my emotions, thoughts and feelings.

All that I have ever done was merely on my own merits. No deadlines, no agent, no publishing companies to have all my copyrights to own. I hold all my own copyrights and material, cause what you get from me is real, raw and authentic. It’s the way it needs to be.

I partnered with Untamed Publishing as well Realistic Poetry International in 2017. My own work, poetry has graced the poetry community at Realistic Poetry in which can be read here:

Realistic Poetry International: Shellie Palmer Poetry

Untamed Publishing has given me massive exposure. I’m ever grateful.

Currently all 5 books from the 8 part series are only available in Kindle Formats at Amazon here, however the only 1 in paper back print is The Journey Ahead. Revisions are at work at this time.

Amazon Authors Page

To have an audience and followers is unimaginable. I’m truly appreciative to those who’ve come and stayed, and to those who are just now getting to know me through my work.

 

Reality & Film: The Effect

Reality and film are quite different on all spectrum’s as film is a just a story where as reality is based on facts. The question is, are films based on around reality? The answer, yes. Movies and film that have a reality based story line are inspired, based on real life facts and events. Where as some films have more of a made up story line although have an inspirational tie to some reality and truth.

The most recent film out in theaters now, A Star Is Born may not be a reality based movie it is the story line in which a famous musician entertainer has an encounter with a woman who’s life is less than glamorous. Ally portrayed by Lady Gaga a food server by day night club singer, songwriter by night meets Jackson Main a well known singer, songwriter, musician portrayed by Bradly Cooper. The two meet by chance at the night club Ally performs at. The connection, an intense one from the get go. The entire premises of the film, opportunity, life and art.  SPOILER ALERT!! sexual explicit scenes, drug & alcohol addiction, mental illness. Take note of the spoiler alert.

For those who haven’t seen the film I’m leaving out details. I’ll let you see it first. Have you seen it? What did you take away from the movie and how did you relate to it? I ask these questions in light of the fact I’ve been through a major life event in which led to rehab, therapy, counseling and diagnosis of high functioning anxiety and massive depression. Treated for PTSD yet not diagnosed. The film triggered memories on my part that left me with racing thoughts, rumination and worry. The physical attributes instantly caused physical pain, discomfort, severe headache and crying spell. When a trigger or triggers occur controlling my emotions, thoughts and behaviors are rather difficult to control. I’m reminded of coping skills to bring me back to reality, in the present moment.

A Star Is Born may not be the film for you unless your not affected by mental illness as it is a portion of the movie. To be frank, reality and life experience is set around the story line. Be cautious!  I saw people walking out of the theater with heads down sobbing or simply trembling physically due to anxiety. Anxiety and depression is wide spread across the country and many have never been treated or not even on medication as they believe they can live without.  Reality and life is a stressor, a challenge daily. I won’t give advice as I said just be cautious when seeing the film.

Your thoughts, feelings and opinions are encouraged in this blog.

Disclaimer! I don’t represent this film. It isn’t a review and won’t be used on any film or movie sites.

I’d like folks to talk about it, mental illness and addiction shown in films gives out bad vibes to people who live with mental illness and sobriety. There’s no shame in speaking up even though you feel it. We’re not alone.

The reality of it all there are films that touch on the subject and in this case it is A Star Is Born.

 

 

Healing & Recovery All While Living With Mental Illness

“It isn’t so much practicing daily coping skills. There’s much more to it. It is what the body tells us when it’s time to shut down for awhile.”

Healing takes time and a great amount of self love and self compassion. I’m learning more of it these days due to my ever changing lifestyle. I don’t over work myself when it comes to my writing and I sure don’t spend endless hours online working on book projects that have been left undone. Everything is done by tracking online use and it works! Now that I look back and reflect on what I did before a few years ago I think to myself why did I wrapped myself up into too many projects and a retail job and not find any me time. Later on it came to the point I was mentally, emotionally and physically drained to exhaustion to family matters and an unusual encounter that would lead to so much turmoil and danger in my life. I was vulnerable, weak, fatigued and sick constantly. It never dawned on me I was intoxicating myself by mind, body and soul. I was a lost soul taken into temptation, secrets and lies which is quite out of character for me.

More times than I can count therapy, counseling, one on one’s with a therapist, counselor and psychologist became quite a habit as I was unable to cope with two major life events. What came from it in fact damaged my self worth, self esteem, self confidence and not loving myself as I once did before. Honestly I blamed myself, felt shame and guilt to literally beating myself up over one of the major events that would cause such extreme mental, emotional and physical pain. My beliefs were drowned into a pool of dark water, I was unable to breathe. There were days of complete isolation and severe crying spells completely out of my control. My racing thoughts over shadowed me daily. I knew myself of the depression and anxiety until I went through the proper diagnosis while through treatment. High functioning GAD (generalized anxiety disorder) and massive depression. I was taught coping skills: mindfulness, behavioral and emotional. All in which would take time to learn and adapt to. What a process! The learning, the teaching and how to use it effectively. I remain to use the coping skills when life situations and stress arise now that I’m no longer in a treatment based program. It isn’t so much practicing daily coping skills though. There’s much more to it. It is what the body tells us when it’s time to shut down for awhile. It is listening to the body and how to take care of it when it’s needed. It’s like a car. A car can’t run unless it has gas, it needs hygiene when it get’s dirty, and then there’s overall health, a tune up when it becomes out of alignment. Our body is the same. Avoiding hygiene and health comes illness and I for one living with mental illness have those moments when it’s all thrown out of alignment.

What I’m learning every day now is how to improve my mental and overall health. It’s not easy either. It takes practice, time and patience. Mediation, grounding, self compassion and my needs is keeping me from going into a tailspin. The time I spend what excites me, makes me happy and gives joy has great significance to keep me balanced and in tune with the world. The world keeps moving. Adapting to new healthy habits is a struggle though since I’m a big sweet eater. It’s my pitfall. I know when my body tells me when to back off. Warning signs pop up. Acne, feeling sluggish, weight gain,etc. Changing it up with healthier food options has made a huge difference, it’s when I fall off the bicycle trying to get back on. It’s hard! I do it without necessarily thinking about it. I thank Pinterest for it and all the amazing healthier options. I’m not much of a cook so when I want a little something easy I go to these amazing little recipes that take no more than 20 minutes. Sometimes I implement my own changes to a recipe. It’s amazing and I feel healthier in the long run.

Taking care of my body the way I know how has done a world of good for me while living with anxiety and depression. It’s not always going to be easy though as I’ve become well aware of. It is merely having patience and taking time every single day.

 

Shellie Palmer

 

Here’s the link to the Pinterest board

Health and Wellness Board