2019 began with great difficulty with the fluctuating depression, anxiety & PTSD. It knocked the wind out of me, literally speaking. At times I felt paralyzed, isolated to avoid social interaction. The physical illness itself took a toll on my immune system. I developed a sinus infection twice, the second time turned into an upper respiratory infection. With the coaxing of my father, cousin and best friend I made it a point to rest my mind and body the best I could even with the war I was fighting internally.
I was at a point I needed trauma counseling due to the nightmares and dreams returning that which plagued me for nearly a year and half. I hated myself and my lack of self worth crippled me. My best friend and I talked even during his busiest. He’s my shoulder to cry on. He’s seen it all in me, the good, the bad and the ugly. In a nutshell he understands my living with a mental illness and learning disabilities. He knows my stubborn streak, my perfectionism, how strongly independent I am, right down to the core of me. He has been a huge part of my life and will remain to be. My writing is the strongest that it’s ever been because of him. I’m eternally grateful.
Nothing has come as planned this year with the year half over. It all has become a blur, at the same time I’ve gained greater strength and wisdom. Life is short, the world is wide. I have the freedom now and I’m ready for all the changes to come. Traveling will be checked off my bucket list during the month of August, and I’m excited, nervous and just plain happy to be living my grand purpose during this lifetime. The personal connections have become truly fulfilling.